Does your cat see you as a caretaker, mate, or affiliate? Read on to find out which one you are!
By: Mieshelle Nagelschneider, Cat Behaviourist, host of the TV show My Cat From Hell, and author of the cat behaviour science book, The Cat Whisperer
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There’s a good chance that if you’re reading this article, you love cats. And as a cat lover, you’ve likely wondered what your cat thinks of you. Can a cat love a human? With all the nurturing and care we give our cats, is it possible they think of us as their mom or dad?
Cats, far from being solitary creatures, often engage in complex social behaviors with their feline companions. They form colonies where they establish hierarchies, share resources, and even partake in communal activities such as grooming. This social structure, deeply rooted in their evolutionary history, underscores their inclination for a rich social life. It appears that cats have evolved not just to coexist, but to flourish alongside other cats and humans. Understanding the intricacies of these social connections adds depth to the relationship between humans and their feline friends.
Does your cat consider you a Caretaker, Mate, or Preferred Affiliate? Read on to unpack each role and determine what your cat thinks of you!
We know that cats instinctively develop specific roles within their cat communities. These roles can also be developed between cats and other species, particularly humans. Cats don’t perceive us as mere roommates; instead, they categorize us into distinct roles, much like they do with their feline companions.
Role #1: The Caretaker, aka Mom or Dad
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First up is the caretaker, or in human terms, the mom (or dad for you cat dads out there). The caretaker is the provider of sustenance, the keeper of the elusive red dot and feather wand toys, and the designated cleaner of litter boxes. To a cat, the caretaker transcends being just a source of treats; they embody the role of a benevolent parent, a confidant navigating the intricate world of whisker twitches and tail flicks.
Role #2: Mates
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But wait, there’s more. Cats also perceive humans as potential mates. Now, before you visualize feline romance, let’s clarify—it’s not about moonlit dinners or sharing a Churu squeeze-up treat. It’s a desire for companionship, a craving for connection. Cats seek not just a caregiver but a partner in their mischievous escapades, whether it’s knocking items off shelves or pursuing imaginary foes. This emotional bond that cats forge reflects a companionship akin to familial love.
“In the last decade, research on many animals has shown they lead rich emotional lives. Beyond mere fear and anxiety, they are capable of grieving the loss of their humans or animal companions; they can become depressed; they can experience anticipation and pleasure. They can also display dramatic emotional responses to changes in their environment. Cats share with humans the same neurochemistry that allows us to feel.” —Excerpt from Mieshelle Nagelschneider’s cat behaviour science book, The Cat Whisperer.
Role #3: Preferred Affiliate
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Finally, we have the category of preferred affiliate or friend. Cats make a distinction between casual acquaintances and genuine friends. This affiliate distinction transcends basic caretaking and mating, representing a true fondness for human companionship. Cats show affection, seek attention, and engage in playful antics, mirroring the dynamics of friendships among cats. Preferred Affiliates may be the lucky humans who earn coveted belly rubs, receive gentle purring serenades, and share in playful interactions, creating a bond akin to being a friend in the cat world.
Is One Role Better Than Another?
Although cats may initially form a special bond with their parents, like other species, they eventually seek out new relationships characterized by varied levels of interaction. The most significant social bonds, arguably, revolve around mates and preferred affiliates.
As we delve deeper into feline social dynamics, the complexities of their interactions with both cats and humans become evident. Every flick of a tail and every gentle purr bears deeper significance. Cats are not the solitary beings we often perceive; instead, they have evolved to embrace a multifaceted social existence that enriches their bonds with both feline peers and human companions. Appreciating these intricate layers provides invaluable insight into the world of feline relationships and how they view us.
So, next time you catch your cat engaging in playful antics or giving you the slow blink of approval, remember—you’re not just a bystander. You are, quite possibly, an integral part of their world, fulfilling a meaningful role within the confines of your home.
